Ep. #165: Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Eating and Binge Triggers with Connie Bennett
Emotional eating isn’t a lack of discipline.
It’s often a signal—something underneath asking for attention.
In this episode of The Energy Fix, Tansy sits down with Connie Bennett, transformational speaker and author, for an honest and compassionate conversation about emotional eating, gut health, and the deeper needs that often drive our relationship with food.
Connie shares her personal journey and the patterns she’s seen in others, emphasizing that emotional eating is rarely about willpower—it’s often a form of pain management or a response to unmet emotional needs.
Together, they explore how gut health impacts mood and cravings, how to identify triggers, and how shifting your mindset can create more sustainable change than restriction or perfection ever could.
This conversation is grounded, real, and deeply human—especially if you’ve ever felt stuck in cycles of guilt, frustration, or starting over.
Purchase her new book!
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What We Cover
In this episode, we talk about:
Why emotional eating is often a pain management strategy
The connection between food, emotions, and coping
How gut health influences cravings and mood
Identifying triggers that lead to binge or emotional eating
The role of shame and guilt in eating patterns
Why self-compassion is essential for lasting change
How to “bounce back” without starting over from scratch
Mindset shifts that support a healthier relationship with food
Asking better questions in moments of craving
Why perfection isn’t the goal
Key Takeaways
Emotional eating is often a response to deeper needs
You can always reset—at the next moment, not “next Monday”
Self-compassion supports change more than self-criticism
Understanding triggers creates awareness and choice
Gut health plays a significant role in emotional well-being
Healing your relationship with food takes time and patience
Progress comes from small shifts, not drastic changes
Bouncing back is about choice, not perfection
Favorite Quotes & Sound Bites
A few moments you’ll want to remember:
“There is always time to bounce back.”
“This episode isn’t about perfection.”
“Emotional eating isn’t a lack of willpower issue.”
“You can always restart at the next meal.”
“Self-compassion isn’t a reward you earn.”
“What do you actually need?”
“What are you trying to numb out?”
Chapters
06:50 Understanding Emotional Eating Triggers
23:19 Gut Health and Its Impact on Well-being
50:42 Exploring Food Experiences and Weight Loss Medications
01:00:07 Overcoming Shame and Guilt in Eating
01:10:06 Concluding Thoughts and Resources
Why This Episode Matters
Because food is rarely just about food.
It can show up as:
reaching for something when you’re overwhelmed or exhausted
feeling out of control around certain foods
cycles of “starting over” again and again
guilt or shame after eating
using food to soothe, distract, or cope
feeling frustrated that willpower isn’t enough
And the hard part?
Many people think this means something is wrong with them.
This episode reframes emotional eating as a response, not a flaw.
Connie brings a grounded, compassionate perspective that helps you pause and ask a different question:
What do I actually need right now?
Because healing isn’t about being perfect with food.
It’s about understanding yourself—and learning how to respond differently, one moment at a time.
About Connie Bennett
Connie Bennett is a self-mocking, former sugar and carbs addict, in-demand transformational speaker, frequent podcast guest, clean eater, TEDx speaker, journalist, and author of the bestselling books Sugar Shock! (Berkley Books), Beyond Sugar Shock (Hay House), and I Blew My Diet! Now What? Connie is a certified health coach, certified DreamBuilder Coach, life coach, the Bounce Back Boldly Coach, practitioner of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), frequent media expert or contributor (CBS News Sunday Morning, Woman’s World, Forbes Health, Newsweek, etc.), and founder of the La Jolla Active Walkers and National Bounce Back Month.
Links Mentioned In The Show
Get the book! “I Blew My Diet! Now What? The Easy, Proven 21-Day Plan to Drop Pounds & Bounce Back Boldly
Website: connieb.com
Facebook: @ConnieBennett
Instagram: @ConnieBennettAuthor
Twitter (X): @SmartHabitsGirl
LinkedIn: @in/conniebennett/
Just Thrive Probiotics: Use TANSY15 for 15% off!
Fusionary Formulas (Turmeric Gold): Use TANSY15 for 15% off!
Podcast review promo...Get 15% off a distance energy healing session or a piece of jewelry with a positive review of the show. Email photo of review (after submitted on podcast platform) to info@tansyrodgers.com
Support Beyond The Episode
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Transcript
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Tansy Rodgers (00:13.73)
Welcome back to the Energy Fix, a podcast dedicated to help you balance your energetic body by diving deep into the sweet world of all things health and spirituality. My name's Tansy and I'm an intuitive crystal Reiki energy healer, energetic nutrition and holistic health practitioner, and a crystal jewelry designer. It's time to talk all things energy. Let's dive in.
Welcome back to the Energy Fix Podcast. Thanks again so much for returning in. We are going to be talking about an incredible topic that I think is going to really hit you right in the gut. And I mean that metaphorically and literally. Today, we're going to be talking about something that a lot of people, they carry quietly at this time of the year. And that is they go into the year or their season or their month and they think,
I'm going to do it this time. I got good intentions. I'm going to stick to my goals. And what happens is life. Life happens. And so maybe you're standing at this point and you're saying to yourself, my gosh, I blew it. Maybe you spiraled. Maybe you're just tired and you have this all or nothing kind of voice that just keeps showing up and saying over and over again, you didn't stick to your plan. You didn't stick to what you were going to do.
But my friend, I'm going to tell you, there is always time to bounce back. This episode isn't about perfection. It's not about punishment. It is really another restart that lasts. We're going to be talking about how to bounce back, but to do it boldly and kindly and in a way that actually is going to stick. Now, my guest today is Connie Bennett. She is a self-mocking former sugar and carb addict.
transformational speaker, TEDx speaker, and the author of Sugar Shock? Beyond Sugar Shock and her newest book, I Blew My Diet, Now What? Connie teaches people how to break the binge and shame loop, to rebuild their mindset, and to create a reset that feels authentic and real. Are you ready to dive into this conversation? Because I know I am. All right, let's dive in.
Tansy Rodgers (02:35.992)
Thanks so much, Connie, for being here today.
Connie Bennett (02:39.16)
Thank you so much for having me, Tansy.
Tansy Rodgers (02:41.558)
Hmm. I personally think that this conversation is going to hit home for so many people. And I also think that it is a hot topic that a lot of people are just really tired of repeating over and over and over. So before we really get into this conversation and dive into all of your wisdom and your tactics and your ways to to to bounce back.
Let's talk about a word or a phrase, the season of life you're in right now. Is there a word or phrase that you're really embodying right now at this point of your life?
Connie Bennett (03:23.118)
I would say, and we'll get into this a little bit later, but boldly.
Tansy Rodgers (03:30.018)
Very fitting. Fitting. so, Connie, I want to.
Connie Bennett (03:35.886)
I strive to be better than I was yesterday and better than I was last year and not be in the status quo. And you'll hear shortly my story and my embarrassing story, how I hit rock bottom. And my goal then was how can I emerge and how can I help other people to emerge?
so that they're better and they're bolder and they're brighter and they're just happier. Everything has all this wonderful energy that they didn't have before. I guess I'm bolder than I was.
Tansy Rodgers (04:18.872)
Yeah.
Tansy Rodgers (04:22.904)
Okay, so let me ask a little follow-up to that then. When you get tired, when you get frustrated, when you feel like things just aren't lining up and you feel exhausted from all of it, how do you stay in that place of being bold?
Connie Bennett (04:41.406)
I have a number of ways to reset. So good old fashioned nap for 10 minutes helps quite a bit. if the weather is nice, though today it's like raining like crazy. if the weather is nice, even just a little brisk walk around the block. I now have a new workout piece of equipment. That's like my new best friend.
I have a rebounder. And so I've been experimenting with just like five minute rebounding breaks and not even necessarily jumping, but literally just kind of going like that. really fun. And I think one of my absolute favorites is tapping, emotional freedom technique. I talk about it in my new book, I Blew My Dye Now What? And the research on tap, so it's called emotional freedom technique, EFT.
I mean, people tend to refer to it as tapping. that, every time I do it, it just ceases to amaze me how much better I will feel afterwards. And what also is just so amazing about tapping is that the research is just, just there's mounds of research, like peer reviewed, know, tested up the wazoo studies by
you know, scientists who've proven that yes, it works and it can work for, you know, any number of issues, know, fatigue, cravings, depression, pain, headaches. I mean, you name it. So I'm a very, very big fan of tapping. And I probably should just do a shout out. Um, of course we're recording now.
but the tapping solution people have a yearly event called the tapping solution and they have just amazing tapping sequences that can help you.
Tansy Rodgers (06:50.195)
Mm. I love that. love that. Well before-
Connie Bennett (06:53.932)
Journaling, mean, journaling is another big one as well.
Tansy Rodgers (06:57.334)
Yeah. Well, before we really dive into you and your journey, I want to just do a little definition here. So before we go on, when you say, I blew my diet, what exactly do you mean? Are you talking about a single slip up? Are you talking about a weekend or a month or that big inevitable, forget about it. It's ruined.
Connie Bennett (07:21.432)
Okay, so here's the thing. When you're an author, this is my third book, so when you're an author, you need to have a provocative title, okay? So I don't really mean diet necessarily. I mean like I just blew the way I'm eating. I just, you know, binged big time. So when I say I blew my diet, it means, you know, I just ditched my clean way of eating that I've been doing for like more than a decade.
And I just went hog-wild on the popcorn and what I call garbage, carved garbage. I mean, and I did this for months and months, but let me back up a little, is that what sent me over the edge, so to speak, is that, so I had been living in New York and I was getting ready for my new book at the time. It was called Beyond Sugar Shock. It's my second book.
and my mom became terminally ill. I moved from New York to be with her across the country. And what happened next was the most grueling, heartbreaking year of my life. And all my friends were behind in New York. And I seem to have forgotten that I like to meditate every day, that it keeps me balanced. And...
You know God bless her but when my mother was she was terminally ill of cancer and when she was dying there were 3 moms. There was a brave mom who is amazing. There was a loving mom she was awesome. And then there was a cancer mom who without being disrespectful she was Kent anchorage and
just really difficult to deal with. Now, it was a cancer. She was not taking any medication. And as the cancer was spreading, it changed her personality. So here I published a couple of books about sugar. I was helping clients to quit sugar and process carbs. And after she passed away, I don't know, I must've done it like within minutes.
Connie Bennett (09:48.398)
hours, I don't know, I don't really remember that whole time frame after she passed away was kind of a blur, except for the fact that there was one scene I repeated over and over and over again. And that was that I hid out in movie theaters. Again, bear in mind, my friends are in New York. I was in between boyfriends, so I'm single. you know, what do I do? So I hid out in movie theaters and I was just stuffing my face with movie popcorn.
crunchy, greasy, salty, gross movie popcorn. And within months, I'd packed on 21 pounds. And I felt like a big fraud. I mean, this was so antithetical to what I had been representing for the previous decade. Like, I'm known as a sugar expert. So...
I packed on 21 pounds, I developed insulin resistance. I was headachy and tired and irritable and difficulty concentrating. My symptoms just went on and on and on. saw a doctor. And I was like, it was amazing how a few months of treating my poor body like a garbage can had reached so much havoc.
It wasn't just the weight and it was mortifying. So anyhow.
I've put all that.
Connie Bennett (11:28.588)
rock bottom, you know, events, I put those all to good use. And what I sought to do then was, okay, if I, someone who's been eating cleanly for more than a decade, and by eating cleanly, I mean very little or no gluten, no sugar, in recent years, no dairy, no agave, no honey, you know, just clean, organic.
fresh meats, you know, everything was like clean. And if I could fall off the wagon like that, what about the millions of people out there? And then it literally sent me on this seven year journey, seven plus year journey to find out why did I blow my diet so badly? And what I discovered was fascinating. I remember
I was still kind of, you know, trying to figure out what book I was going to do next. And I really didn't want to do any book or it wasn't that I didn't want to do any book. was like, I was too ashamed. Like I was supposed to do a book about helping people cut out cravings, but it was like, and I literally, finished it. And then it was like, but I can't come out with that without being, you know, without revealing to people who knew me that I wasn't walking my talk.
And I think that was really, really hard to admit. So it took me years to like get the guts up to say, okay, I blew my die. So they don't necessarily tell authors to read reviews. say it's not necessarily the best thing to do. I don't know, but for some reason I felt very interested in reading reviews of this book. It's my third book and
It's been amazing because people are saying, I felt seen, I felt heard, I can relate. I like the fact that the author, you know, isn't speaking down to us. She's talking about, you know, how, how awful it was for her. And I'm like, so was anyhow. so I, that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to reach people where they're at to tell them.
Connie Bennett (13:50.766)
I'm not some doctor. Yes, I'm a health coach. Yes, I'm a life coach. Yes, I'm a journalist. And yes, I dig up facts and I look at studies, but I'm also just like the people I'm now trying to help. I've been there. And so I know how absolutely awful and embarrassing and just, it's just, you just, you loathe, not necessarily yourself, but you loathe what you're doing.
And yet you can't get out of it. That's where I was. And that's where I'm trying to help people from that place of just deep, deep, deep self-loathing. you know, and it's just, so that, so anyhow, what I discovered in the course of those seven plus years is that there were 21 reasons that we eat badly. And I had experienced one of them, the loss of my mother.
And so I was doing what I now call heartbreak binging. And it was binging in a way that I'd never done before. It was like, really, like, who is this person? You know, that's how I was like looking at myself. This isn't me. You know, and now I'm on the other side and I'm looking at myself and I'm like, oh my God. But anyhow, so here's the thing.
Many of your viewers or listeners might be there right now. They may be getting over the loss of a loved one. So that's one of what I call four big binge triggers. May I share the other three? So another big binge trigger has to do with relationships. so that could lead to, so say if you're getting a divorce, you could be doing what I call divorce devouring, or it even could be a friendship, know, friendship, relationship, loved one.
Tansy Rodgers (15:29.303)
Mm-hmm, sure.
Connie Bennett (15:46.19)
So could be doing what I call breakup binging. So that's the second one. The third one could do, the third one blew my mind as I was researching it because it's about trauma. A lot of us have experienced trauma in our lives. What blew me away when I was researching this is that for many people, that lingering trauma could still be affecting the way that they're eating today.
That blew me away. Anyhow, I call that comfort crunching. And the fourth one was something that we got into at the beginning. I wasn't a full-time caregiver, but I was doing some caregiving duties, and I was doing also what I call caregiving chomping. Those are the big four binge triggers. But we're not talking about the other. The other reason is because there's 21 in all. And so...
No wonder people are gaining weight. mean, all of a sudden, it just became crystal clear to me why people are gaining weight and why obesity is such a problem.
Tansy Rodgers (16:57.578)
Yeah, and I know.
Connie Bennett (16:59.086)
Let just add one thing. I'm so sorry, but I need to add one thing. The reason that we care about weight gain is we're not talking, forget about how you look. Weight gain can lead to heart disease, cancer, type two diabetes, Alzheimer's disease. Just a whole slew. There's like a woman named Nancy Appleton used to be a sugar expert. She had this like.
big list and she kept growing the list every year. So I don't know, it something like 160 things that could happen to you if you're overeating sugar or processed carbs. That's why you care about what you eat.
Tansy Rodgers (17:39.394)
Yeah, preach it. I love that. And first off, first what I will say to you and your story, thank you for sharing that. I love when people get real, experts get real with why they are doing what they're doing. It is so important to share that so that we, like your testimonials had said, can feel seen, can feel understood.
can feel like you're not somebody on a mountain top just preaching down, you lived the experience, which honestly, Connie, I think that makes you more of an expert than maybe some of the doctor experts that maybe have never actually experienced that, right? Because grief and heartbreak, binging, or even like the big four triggers that you just talked about, these are real things. They are real.
And I think so many times people get into this place of what is wrong with me? Why can't I control my emotional eating? Why can't I get a handle on this? When in reality, they are being triggered by huge circumstances that are just being swept under the rug and instead turning around and say, no, there's something wrong with you. That's not true. That's not true. Yeah. Yeah.
I'm curious about something though. When you were feeling this grief, when you were feeling the grief and you started to eat emotionally, what do you think you were actually craving instead, but you were using food as a substitute?
Connie Bennett (19:20.974)
Yeah, I've thought a lot about that.
One of the things that I was craving was my mother's love. Well, she was kind of gone. Not kind of, but yeah. I was craving comfort. I was craving...
Connie Bennett (19:48.142)
to have that big hole in my life filled up. Of course, food's not gonna do it. It was, especially since I moved across country for her. then, I mean, I'd left behind my entire life. So there I was in another part of the country. My best friends were back East and I felt pretty alone. So I was really, you know.
What do we all crave? We crave love, we crave friends, we crave, you know, fun times. You know, it would just, and in my mother's case, you know, I was craving approval. Of course I, yeah. So.
Tansy Rodgers (20:34.04)
Yeah.
Connie Bennett (20:37.836)
I think that as I mentioned that I was going to work on this book about cravings and it's even in my computer somewhere. It was actually completed. I need to at some point go back and look at it because I delved into a lot about cravings. So, you know, a lot of us, we just, we crave something in our lives. And so a lot of people turn to food because of that.
Tansy Rodgers (21:08.494)
Yeah. Well, when you talk about these big four triggers, and I know there's 21, but you talked about the big four. How do you know what's running the show? How can you really dive in and detect the true culprit?
Connie Bennett (21:23.448)
Well, I have one favorite word, three syllables, or not three syllables, three letters. My favorite word in the English language is why. That's it. And I literally, I did something really interesting for this book because I spent roughly a third of my new book, I Blew My Dye, Now What?
addressing why. Why do people overeat? Because you are not going to make any changes until you know what is going on in your life. Why the heck are you being triggered? I mean, once I knew, and I mean, it was obvious, but you my mom had died. It was difficult. It was a tough time, duh. But once I thought about it, I was like, yeah.
And then when I started doing research and see, yeah, that's a thing. my goodness. The Germans even have a word for it. They call it cummer. I can't think of the word. I don't know if there's the right pronunciation. Something like cummerspeck. It's like grief eating or, know, so, but once you know exactly why you're binging or overeating, boom, then you're ready to move on to figure out some tips how.
get into the how, like what can you do to address it? Now, in my case, I needed therapy. So I'll leave it up to your audience or your listeners what they need to do, but I needed some work. I needed journaling, I needed therapy, I needed tapping. But why is just the starting point to help you get back to bounce back?
Tansy Rodgers (23:19.73)
A quick pause for a gut check because gut health is not just about digestion. When your gut is supported it can impact so many big picture things like immunity and brain support, mood and energy, and even how steady your nervous system feels day to day. And when your gut is struggling it can show up as more than bloating or bathroom drama.
It can look like feeling run down and more reactive or foggy or anxious or like you're just not bouncing back the way that you used to. And that's why I'm a big believer in supporting the microbiome as part of a real life wellness foundation, especially if you're under stress, if you're in a busy season of your life or your system is already sensitive. One of my consistent staples is Just Thrive probiotics.
I love it because it's simple, it's consistent, and it helps me feel like I'm supporting my body's baseline without turning my routine upside down. Because here's the reality. When you're supporting your gut, you're often supporting everything downstream, like your immune functioning, your nervous system resilience, and how well your body and your brain can actually do their jobs.
If you want to try it out, you can use code TANZE15 for 15 % off your entire order. Jump down to the show notes, click the link, and make sure to use TANZE15 for that 15 % off. All right, let's get back into this episode. Well, and as you're talking, I'm thinking to myself, most people don't ever ask themselves why. They just do. Like, I'm craving this. I'm going to eat this.
I had a rough day. I deserve this, right? I would love, Connie, I would love to know some of these other like little white lies that people tell themselves right before they go into a binge or a spiral. That may be-
Connie Bennett (25:09.454)
Yeah.
Connie Bennett (25:21.55)
really glad you mentioned that because I was actually thinking that what I was thinking that I wanted to do something with your audience, which is this. So I want to invite your viewers listeners to pretend you're either you're at a party, put yourself in, put yourself right in that moment of temptation. Okay. Don't you're just you're
In that moment, like the second it's happening, so you're at a party or you're in a grocery store or you're in your car and you're, ooh, my favorite burger joint is right there or ooh, my favorite chips or ice cream is over there. And you're in that moment of temptation. And that's the point at which, just ask yourself, why? What's going on?
Why am I craving this junk food when I know that my better self wants to eat good food, healthy food, but the other part of me just wants to go run away and stuff my face. Excuse my language. That's what I used to do, stuff my face. So, and then literally just, you know, and the answer could just come quickly, boom, and then instant.
my God, I just had a really crappy day. My boss was really mean to me or my best friend like did something unbelievable. I just can't just like, I'm shocked that that person would do that for me or my husband or my boyfriend or, my partner just, I mean, I can't believe they did that and boom, you want food. So just identify what was the ex, what is the trigger that is making you want to immediately rush to food.
Tansy Rodgers (27:21.314)
Can I share mine? just can't that I realize you were talking. So for anybody who knows me, they'll probably think that I am lying straight out of my face, but they don't know what's actually going on in the inside. So cake is one of my biggest temptations, preferably icing with a little cake with it.
Right? And so I want all of that sugar. And so when I am out at a party or a birthday party or a family function, I don't, people don't realize it, but I get a lot of social anxiety. And so when I am there and there is cake there or something equally as sweet like that, I can almost not stop thinking about it because it soothes and comforts me and it gives me a little bit of an endorphin rush.
that I feel like I can be in that social situation with less anxiety and stress. And Connie, I've never thought about this before. This is really, really a great thing to ask yourself.
Connie Bennett (28:28.234)
and I dare say, I mean, your experience is very common. Of course.
Absolutely. Well, I was going to mention this later, but you know, this seems like the best time to do this. So may I share a tactic of mine that can help in a situation like that or in any situation where you're accepted? I want to back up first and tell you the story of this technique. So after my mom had passed, I, movie theaters, it was like, see movies.
Tansy Rodgers (28:51.49)
Yes, please.
Connie Bennett (29:06.254)
Go to movie theaters, see popcorn, eat popcorn. More like eat sea popcorn, binge on popcorn. I feel like crap afterwards, hate myself. And then the next day it was the same thing over and over and over and over again. Okay. So one day I'm like, okay. Cause remember I said I didn't have that many friends out there where I was living now. So I decided to go to a movie theater. I need to escape. know, it was like the best I could do at the point. It was like, just I got to do some
So I went to the movies and I stood, sat in my car and I turned on the radio. or the CD player. I have a CD in my car still. I turned on a CD and it was very calming CD. I think I'd bought it at some conference. It's like kind of this new agey song. It was very calming. I turned it on and I said, I'm not going to get out of this car.
until I know that I have the strength to face this tempting popcorn. I know I'm going to be tempted. So what am I going to do? How am I going to resist temptation? So I started doing intuitively. I didn't know what I was doing. Okay. I've done no research. Okay. I'm a journalist. I researched the heck out of things. I researched this last book for seven years, but this was just like, I need help. I need to help myself enough of this, you know, being like a fraud.
So I put, wrapped my arms around myself and I started hugging myself to the music. So the music was going and I was just kind of hugging and rocking. And then maybe I kind of tapped myself on, you know, oh, it's okay. And I just did that and I rocked, went through the entire tune. And then I was like, okay, huh, I feel better. But then I thought, well, I'm not quite ready to face that movie popcorn.
that's going to be popping out of those bins and tempting me. So I did the same process over, over again, tuned up to the second, I played the tune again. And then I was like, okay, I think I'm ready. Okay. I'm ready to face that movie popcorn. Now, again, I've been spending months, probably going to movies. I'm embarrassed to admit, maybe three times a week, easily, maybe four. I mean, I have any friends anymore.
Connie Bennett (31:33.098)
I was like all alone. and I was in an interim place to live. Everything, you my life was just in shambles. And, we wanted to talk about the fact that my book, my second book had come out and I was just so depressed and messed up that I hardly promoted it, which is why you don't see it back there. It was called Beyond Sugar Shop. And so I, so I did that process when movie theater.
and I'll be darned, I walked right into the movie theater. I waltzed by the concession stand. kind of almost, I kind of playfully, you know, just snubbed the movie popcorn. Like I was a snob. I walked into my seat and I did not have any movie popcorn for the first time in months. In months. And I was like, oh my gosh, I went on that evening.
What happened? What did do? Why did that, why did, why was I able to, why did that work? And so then I researched the heck out of this. Well, what I was doing was I was combining hugging, humming, rocking, touching, self-soothing touch, and you know, and self-talk too. I was talking nicely to myself and each
Each one of those techniques in and of itself has research to back up its effectiveness. So by adding all of those together, I was like kind of bathed in this like, you know, cornucopia of like comforting, soothing sensations. So I was, I was releasing oxytocin and I was lowering cortisol and I was.
You know, it's just on and on. And that's basically was the beginnings of my hug, hum, rock, or leave process.
Tansy Rodgers (33:41.302)
I was just going to say this is your signature process, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Connie Bennett (33:46.882)
Now, what I do just to prove that, I'm not making this stuff up. So in my new book, I blew my nose. Now what? I literally go over every step of the process and I cite all the studies that back up what I'm saying. it's just, so we're backing up to what I said before. You're at that party and you want that cake, okay? You can do.
This process, okay, you don't need music, nice if you did, but it doesn't matter, you don't need to have music. You can literally do it like this. People might think you're a snob or something or whatever, you're cold. And you can literally just do this like lightly or whatever, you know, and nobody will know what you're doing and you're literally comforting yourself. And that could help in that situation. And then you can combine it with other techniques.
Years ago, I used to talk about the power of delaying. still am a big fan of delaying because when you're tempted by something, just delay. Okay, five minutes, 10 minutes, whatever. Go for a walk around the block. Clean your office. Clean the toilet. Call up a friend. Read a book. Watch a video on YouTube.
You there's so many things that you can do for 10 minutes. could say, okay, I'm going to give myself permission to eat that cake or whatever, know, just substitute what your trigger food is. I'm going to give myself permission. can have that. That's okay. But I'll do it in 10 minutes. And you just, you literally delay for 10 minutes and you could do a whole bunch of different things during that time, or just one thing. It could be just a walk around the block. Um,
And then if you're feeling strong, if you're feeling up to it, you delay another 10 minutes. And then you get involved in a conversation with somebody, you know, and so literally you can just delay away cravings.
Tansy Rodgers (35:59.278)
Two things about your process that really stood out to me that I love and I just want to highlight them for the listeners. Number one, hugging yourself, soothing, you're giving yourself the comfort and the love that you're probably seeking in that moment. And number two, that humming is stimulating your vagus nerve, which is calming that nervous system right down. Beautiful.
Connie Bennett (36:24.876)
Well, the other thing is that, you know, a lot of people when they think about hugging, they think about, okay, hugging my kids, hugging my loved ones, but you could just hug yourself. You know, if I'm having a rough day, I just, it's okay, Connie. I mean, it works wonders.
Tansy Rodgers (36:42.798)
Yeah. Well, okay. So, so you're in the moment. You're maybe using that process, but I want to talk about, I want to take a step back just a moment. I want to talk about why you're even getting there in the first place. Your term, garbage, it makes me laugh, but it also makes me wince because I get it. Like I, I know how magnetic that stuff can be. And so let's talk about why. Why is this stuff so magnetic?
Why do we feel stressed, lonely, tired, overwhelmed, whatever the emotion is, and immediately that's what you want? Why do you gravitate there?
Connie Bennett (37:23.278)
Look, I'm not one to...
Connie Bennett (37:29.902)
I'm not one to blame the food industry.
Let's face it. I think the latest research shows that about two thirds of Americans are eating ultra processed foods.
Now, don't, I mean, look, the companies need to make money, but we, people who eat food, need to eat food. So that's why what I recommend and in the diet that I, know, or in the meal plan that I recommend people eat is just, you know, just cut out that process stuff. telling you, the minute you cut out the stuff that's made in
you know, that comes in packages, you know, it's just going to cut back on the cravings. Food industries have engineered things so that we crave more and more and more. I mean, there's a really fabulous, fabulous research by a bunch, a bunch of different authors. You know, there's a book called Hooked, you know, just the stunning information that they, that they
that they came up with and heard about it. It's like, astounds you. So yeah, the food industry is engineering foods so that you cannot stop. So I'm not recommending get angry at them. doesn't, whatever. That's what they do. But you can be smart and know if I these processed foods, it could set me up for a binge.
Connie Bennett (39:17.366)
No ifs, ands, or buts about it. It's a lot easier to eat better than if you just stay away from packaged foods. Now, there are a lot of packaged foods that are healthier. Like I bought some salmon in a package, that's not packaged, but you I'm talking about mostly carbs and sweets. and basically foods that have, you know, I don't know, laundry list of ingredients, like 12 ingredients.
If it has three or four, hey, you stand a better chance. You know, I still eat stuff that comes in boxes, like there's these amazing crackers, Mary's kind of crackers. Has maybe seven or eight ingredients, but you don't see sugar in there.
Tansy Rodgers (40:00.312)
Those are one of my favorites. I love them.
Connie Bennett (40:02.21)
I mean, there are a bunch of products that you can eat that don't have unhealthy items in them. So anyhow, we're being set up. you're tempted anytime you leave the house, go out, you know, anywhere, party, grocery store, hospitals, for goodness sake, you're going to be tempted. And what are they going to tempt you with? And, I'm not even talking about soft drinks. Yeah. You're tempted by soft drinks.
apple juice and, and you know, those of us who've been researching this and following this and say, well, you know, a glass of apple juice can also, you know, has lots of sugar in it. So anything that's processed can trigger those cravings. So, hey, why not just cut back on those or cut them out? So you asked me, this is a long, long answer to your question, which is, I tempted?
I don't eat junk foods that I know are gonna set me up. I have certain foods that I know will set me up, even some healthier foods. Like I can't have dried dates. I mean, I know what's, or dates, I cannot have dates. And they may have no sugar in them, but I know that I have one date, I'm a goner. And I don't even, I just don't eat dates. I mean, I go to the farmer's market now.
Tansy Rodgers (41:16.376)
Thank
Connie Bennett (41:32.332)
The guy's like, no, these wonderful things. You know, stay away from them. Why tell myself?
Tansy Rodgers (41:42.702)
Yeah.
Connie Bennett (41:45.086)
I haven't helped you myself a couple of times. I was really tired.
But it's not junk food. I love sweet potato chips.
Ferrosweet chips, I love them. Well, the thing is I used to binge on them. Okay. It took me a few years to get to the point where, oh, come on, I can try. I mean, they're good. Maybe they're not the most nutritious, but they're really good. You know, and that you always make sure I have lots of ample protein and fat at the same time. And so a few, couple of months ago, not even that, maybe a month ago, I was really, really, really tired.
And so I know what's gonna set me up, okay? I know when I'm gonna get cravings. And the biggest thing for me is if I'm tired. I didn't get enough sleep, I'm gonna get cravings. So I decided, okay, you know what? I think I'm gonna go ahead and I'm gonna buy some chips. You know, again, my willpower is not very high at that point. But I gave myself permission to get them, but I did not give myself permission to polish off a whole bag.
because I knew what would happen if I lost off the whole bag. So I know, like I would ask myself, okay, I don't need to ask myself anymore. I mean, I know what happens if I would eat a whole bag of chips. I would feel awful for three days. I would be tired and wired and my goodness, I couldn't sleep. But I allowed myself one serving, I look at the serving size, okay, a little more than one serving size. And I had some protein at the same time and I had some healthy fats.
Connie Bennett (43:23.551)
And you know, I hate to, I don't want to be wasteful about food, but you know what?
Connie Bennett (43:34.254)
I did it to protect myself because I didn't trust myself that I may eat them all. And so I stayed, I stayed on my, you know, I'm not on a diet anymore. just eat healthy, but you know, so, so there are, once in a blue moon, I may allow myself something. And I didn't have any kind of a next day effect. It didn't affect my sleep. It didn't affect my moods. But again, it took me.
probably a few years to get to that point. So that was like tempting myself with my absolute favorite, know, carb. It's really not garbage. So I wouldn't necessarily recommend that to your listeners to take your absolute favorite food and tempt yourself until you're like really kind of out of that zone where you, you you could fall flat on your face again.
Tansy Rodgers (44:30.86)
Yeah. Well, and I-
Connie Bennett (44:32.15)
I hope that that can happen.
Tansy Rodgers (44:35.27)
And I want to add to this though, because you said one word, one word that I think is so important to highlight, because I was actually thinking about this. All of the stuff that you just talked about with the food industry and how we literally can get set up to have these cravings, it's not always about willpower.
It's not always about willpower. You use the word willpower. Let's talk about that because I think so many people turn the finger around in shame and blame and say, you should have been able to will yourself through this, but that is not the reality. You say that something works better than willpower. I would love to know what that something is and how do we build it when our motivation is feeling low.
Connie Bennett (45:21.164)
Yeah. I think willpower can be elusive. mean, and there's some really interesting research to do. Willpower gets less and less as the day goes on. mean, there's fascinating research about willpower. I'm like, this is like too complicated for me. You know, I need something that's going to work better than willpower. So I came up with a concept I call goal power. So what I would recommend your
viewers too, if they're ever tempted. Or they already have, you know, kind of gone down the rabbit hole and they've had some of their favorite junk food. Think about, what is it you really, really, really want? I mean, do you really want to have that? Do you really, really want to have that piece of cake? Or do you really, really want to maybe, you know,
make a new friend or two at the party, you know, and, and, you know, get invited to more parties. I don't know. You know, what, what would you really, really like? So.
And, and, and just personalize it. You know what you want. I mean, right now, you know what I really want? I want more friends who like to go on walks where I live. So I actually formed a group. I'm in, I'm in the San Diego area and I formed this group called the La Jolla Active Walkers. So if any of your listeners are in that area, feel free to look it up and we'll meet up. Um, but.
You just think about what it is you really, really, really want. And that, that goal will sustain you much further than any willpower ever can.
Tansy Rodgers (47:19.214)
I like that. What is your goal of why you're doing this or why you're in that situation? That's awesome.
Connie Bennett (47:29.358)
I want to talk about weight for a second. think that...
I think in our country, we tend to be more focused on weight. And yes, my new book has the word diet in the title, but hey, you it sort of needs that to sell books, right? Or to make people realize what it's about. what you, the food that you eat and whether you lose weight or don't lose weight, it's more about how the food makes you feel.
How is the food going to change who you are in the world? Is the food going to make you tired, moody, depressed, anxious, unmotivated, headachy, fatigued, or is the food going to make you energized, excited, enthusiastic, motivated, happy?
cheerful, gregarious, know, into helping other people, into learning new things. And that is what I want people to think about. Not whether or not you lose weight or gain weight, but what is that food going to do for you? And come on, let's think about it. Think about why we eat. We eat to live, but a lot of people live to eat.
Tansy Rodgers (49:00.718)
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code TANYLZ15 for 15 % off. All right, let's get back into this episode.
Tansy Rodgers (50:42.766)
Yeah, yeah. And, you know, I'm a true believer that food is an experience, but also what is an experience is how you feel afterwards. And the light and not just the immediate afterwards, I'm talking about how your body responds, you know, your blood sugar levels, your blood pressure, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Like how your body responds, that is part of the food experience. And and so
Okay, I need to ask you this because I know that you got some information about this. You just brought up about weight loss and about weight gain and so forth. Let's talk about GLP-1 medications because this is such a buzzword. You can't turn around without seeing some kind of advertisement or somebody talking about it. I want to talk about what do you want people to understand about relapse risk?
with or without them? And how does your approach shift and change us? Like, what is your thoughts on GLP-1 medications?
Connie Bennett (51:48.878)
So first off, I think it's up to the person and their doctor. What do they think they need it? So I'm not, I, you know, I have no, I have no thoughts about whether or not you should be on it or not on it. It's up to you. So if you are, the advice that I'm going to give could help you. At the same time.
If you're not, the advice that I'm going to share can help you.
And that is that.
Connie Bennett (52:31.948)
I want to make people realize that before food, before you put a bite of food into your mouth, you want to do what I call flip on your success mindset.
So what I mean by that is first you want to tap into, we talked about your why, we want to tap into your desire. What is it you really, really, really want? So in my case, I want to have energy. I want to feel good. I want to also have the energy to do lots and lots of these bypass interviews. I want to inspire people. So my desire is to help other people. In order to do that, I know.
that I cannot eat crap or I will feel like crap. Excuse my language. So, but the D is my Diva technique. So the D, the first D is decide. Excuse me, I'm sorry, I meant the first D is to desire. What do you desire? The next D is to decide. Decide what it is that you want to do or what you want to have in your life. So.
I decide that I am in control of my eating. But not just that. I decide that I'm going to have a great life. So each of your listeners come up with what you decide you want. The third letter is E for expect. So it's DDE. So Diva is normally spelled D-I-V-A. We're misspelling it. So the E is expect.
And there's very interesting research about power of expectation. You expect that you are going to be a success no matter what. I'm a fan of Mary Morrissey. She wrote a book called, a recent book, actually it's right behind me, called Brave Thinking. And she talked a lot about what you expect and those expectations can determine who you become.
Connie Bennett (54:44.27)
And then the next part, it's D for desire, D for decide, D for expect, and B to visualize. So visualize what it is that you want. Who do you want to be in the world? And then the last one is A for affirmation. Make state affirmations so you could say something like, I am healthy, happy, and
It could be as simple as that. Or it could be something like, enjoy eating healthy foods. That's it. it's a flip on your success mindset. So it's D for desire, D for decide, D for expect, D for visualize, and A for affirm.
Tansy Rodgers (55:39.214)
Can I just mention here? I think that most people, like they have the desire, they make the decision, they skip the expectation, and they go right to visualizing and affirmation. Maybe not even visually, they might just do affirmation. And so I think just from being in this world of work that I'm in, I think that the expect, the E, is one of the most important pieces.
That gets so overlooked.
Connie Bennett (56:11.522)
Yeah. Yeah. If you, you expect, if you expect success, that is going to pave the way for your success.
Tansy Rodgers (56:21.302)
Yeah, yeah, oof.
Connie Bennett (56:23.202)
And that can apply in any area of your life. We're not talking about just food, the way you eat. We're talking about, you know, anything in your life. So expectation, yeah. And then combining that with visualization and affirmations and you're home free.
Tansy Rodgers (56:43.7)
I love it.
Connie Bennett (56:45.954)
I'd love to tell you, I may, for people who are interested in weight loss, about this study that I came up with, if I can look in my book for a second. Science actually shows that visualization promotes weight loss. So I went into this, it's a sidebar that I created. And I basically asked, can visualizing help you release excess weight? You bet. Let's consider research published on the international
Journal of Obesity, which showed that personalized, goal-directed mental imagery or visualization can help peel off pounds, especially, okay, listen to this part, especially when you anticipate potential obstacles and mentally try out solutions that previously worked. Anyhow, so they did a study of these people, was 141 overweight or obese people, and they,
And so it went on. They call this, so one group received what's called functional imagery chain fit. And then the others participated in what's called motivational interviewing. And it was a technique that used verbal coaching, but no, no visual strategy. Anyhow, long story short, those who visualized performed, okay, this,
will blow your mind because, give me one second. Sorry about that. I wasn't planning on reading from the book, this is just one, well, shoot, I shouldn't say one of my favorite says, there's just so many. Okay, now play close attention. A year later, visualizers who visually imagined their success scored a weight loss of more than 14 pounds, but those who didn't do any envisioning,
shed less than 1.5 pounds. Okay, that's not all. The imaginers also took off more than three and a half inches from their waist circumference, as opposed to the non-visualizers who released less than one inch. And then I asked the researcher, why did the visualizers succeed so spectacularly? And she said,
Connie Bennett (59:10.062)
Participants fully immerse themselves in the fantasy of the experience using multi-sensory imagery. It's really important that the person feels what it would feel like, what it would be to do X, mostly, rather than just picturing it. Anyhow, that was just one of many, many amazing studies that I found out about. But in terms of weight loss, there's research that shows visualizing helps.
Tansy Rodgers (59:39.202)
That is incredible. What a huge amount. Wow. Wow. Well, Connie, as we start to wrap this interview up, I am curious if you have, if you could leave the listener with just one sentence to repeat after they have a slip, something that will help them not feel the shame or to be less likely to feel the guilt and the shame.
Connie Bennett (59:43.106)
Yeah, yeah.
Tansy Rodgers (01:00:07.582)
What would that be? What would you recommend?
Connie Bennett (01:00:11.882)
There are quite a few things you can do. Okay, your audience, they've slipped. Okay. That's okay. And talk to yourself nicely. There's research that talks, that points about you talk to yourself in the third person. So you say, that's okay, Connie, or whatever, know, whatever your name is. That's okay. Add your name. You know, that's okay. you were going through really rough time.
or XYZ happened. Of course you blew your diet. Of course you ate badly. But you know what? You can eat better at the next meal. So giving yourself positive third person self-talk is really, really important. And look, Edmund, hey, and give yourself also compassion. Compassion and forgiveness. I mean, those are huge. Give yourself lots of your kids.
just hefty doses of forgiveness and compassion. And you're human, for goodness sake. We're all human. Of course you blew your diet. So what? And now I would like to make the point that I'm really against the I'll start again Monday theory. Okay, I'll start the next one.
Tansy Rodgers (01:01:36.3)
Yeah, yeah. I love it. I love it.
Connie Bennett (01:01:40.462)
I just think it's really, really important for people to love themselves and their bodies no matter what size they are, no matter what they did, no matter how they fed their bodies, no matter how they feel. To just accept and forgive yourself and give yourself lots of compassion and hug yourself. You know, just, we're human.
go through this life and there things that happen that are just really challenging for us. And so there are better ways to comfort yourself rather than turn to junk food.
Tansy Rodgers (01:02:20.938)
Yes. Yes, there is. I love it. I love it. All right. Well, Connie, before we figure out where to get this book and to get into your circle, let's just do a few quick rapid fire questions. There's three of them. I want to know more about you in these specific situations. All right. Are you ready for these? Yes. Okay. All right. So question number one, and these are just fun. Whatever just pops on the top of your head. That's what I'm looking for. All right. Number one.
What is the most ridiculous food logic that you've ever believed?
Connie Bennett (01:03:01.132)
that it was okay for me to eat carbs because carbs weren't sugar.
Tansy Rodgers (01:03:06.946)
Yeah, yeah, cars aren't sugar, you're right.
Connie Bennett (01:03:10.262)
the most twisted, crazy logic because I know that ultra processed carbs quickly turn to sugar in your body, duh. But oops, I sort of forgot it after when I was going through my, you know, months long of binging and after losing my mother. So yeah, that was completely twisted food logic.
Tansy Rodgers (01:03:36.46)
Yeah, yeah. All right, number two. What's one habit that really makes you just immediately feel more like yourself, no matter what you ate during that day?
Connie Bennett (01:03:51.564)
think meditation actually. I am one of those people where I literally do not leave my bed. So I may wake up, to the restroom, and then I come back to bed. And then I turn on, believe it or not, yes, I have CDs. And I turn on...
You can get them online. turn on a John Cabot Zen CD of mindfulness meditation. And depending upon my mood, I might do the 10 minute track. So it's only 10 minute track, or I may do track number one and tune at number two. So that'll maybe I'll do 20 minutes or I may even do a half hour, but I inevitably will meditate first thing in the morning. And I've tested it. It's very interesting.
Like on days I don't meditate, I'm just like a little off. It's hard to explain. been years that I've been meditating, but you know, there are certainly are times recently that I may have forgotten. I'm like, oh yeah, that's why things didn't come into place the way they do. Meditation is a big one. But again, literally with this meditation, all you're doing is you're
watching your breath, you know, watching it go in and go out, just very, very simple. And so I just need to have kind of that guidance. There are tons and tons of meditation CDs or what downloads you can get, you know, there's even the insight timer or whatever. And so I just find that when I meditate, which is put it every day, just, things go better.
I'm more, I'm better me.
Tansy Rodgers (01:05:46.75)
Mm, love it. All right. And then finally, if bounce back boldly, we're using your first word. You see that there? If bounce back boldly had a theme song, Connie, what would that theme song be?
Connie Bennett (01:06:05.278)
you know, it's funny that you asked that because, I have a whole play, I have a whole playlist and the dilemma is that I may have 200 songs on my playlist. my gosh. So darn. boy.
that's a tough one to pinpoint just one.
And I, you you reminded me, I need to advertise that more. I don't really advertise it enough.
Connie Bennett (01:06:53.25)
It depends what time of life I'm going through. Like there was one when I was going through my, you know, lose after losing my mother, I would listen to the song mother. I,
Connie Bennett (01:07:12.11)
He's like a young Andrea Bocelli. John, I'm totally blanking out on his name. Golly, you know, I have just so many.
Tansy Rodgers (01:07:17.294)
That's all right.
Connie Bennett (01:07:27.488)
I don't know, I'll have to-
Tansy Rodgers (01:07:28.908)
That's okay. That's all right. When I hear that...
Connie Bennett (01:07:32.404)
send you that list.
Tansy Rodgers (01:07:34.988)
When I hear that, immediately what popped into my head was, I, man, I feel like a woman by Shania Twain. Like that is just what popped into my head immediately. Just like that strong, empowered sense of energy pushing forward. I don't even know if that, I think that's the title of it. I think that's what the full title of that, I don't know. Yeah, but you know what I mean.
Connie Bennett (01:07:55.502)
I think it's another title, but yeah, I know. So many, but you and that's the dilemma. How do you pick one out of all those? Yeah. Yeah. Literally that's why I created that playlist. I was like, okay, I want to, cause music just can lift you up like nothing else can. Yeah. One song. Boom.
Tansy Rodgers (01:08:21.428)
beautiful conversation.
Connie Bennett (01:08:23.05)
I've got to get, I've got to look at my, you know, this was like on my list of things to do, which was to revisit that list, add a few more songs when the book came out, you know, tell people about it. And it's on Spotify, but I haven't been advertising it. So thank you for the reminder.
Tansy Rodgers (01:08:41.441)
Welcome. You're welcome. beautiful conversation, Connie. How inspiring. I would love to know. The listeners would love to know where can they find you? Where are you hanging out? Where can they get their hands on this book?
Connie Bennett (01:08:55.374)
So my main website is connebeasandboy.com. There was another woman who had connebenet.com. So you don't even need to know how to spell Bennett. It's just connebe.com. And then my book, I Blew My Dye Now What is available wherever books are sold. Amazon, Barnes and Noble, you name it. Walmart, they all have it. I would like to...
ask any of your listeners, if you do read my book, get in touch with me. And I'd love to hear what you think. I love to connect with people. You know, I hope that I help, but I love connecting with people. I think it's kind of, you know, when you're writing a book, you're kind of in your, like, you know, in your little area and creating stuff and...
when it's finally out, you get to like talk to more people. I mean, yes, I did research, but you know, just, I want to hear from the people that I'm seeking to serve.
Tansy Rodgers (01:10:06.092)
Yeah. Well, as always, all of those links will be down in the show notes, so make sure you jump on down there and get your hands on this book. so good. Connie, as we wrap up for today, do you have any last words that you would like to lay on the hearts of the listeners for today?
Connie Bennett (01:10:24.972)
would like to tell your listeners that no matter what you're going through
that you can bounce back fully.
Yes, things may be challenging right now. I mean, life happens, right? There are circumstances and events that are inevitable that may happen in life.
but you have an amazing resilience. And I invite you to tap into that resilience and then to think about the foods that you put into your body. Cause those foods will have an outcome on who you are, how you behave, how you feel, how you look. So I just want to encourage people
to just think about. Think about what you eat. I did a TEDx talk and I talk a bit about how when you eat better, you feel better. When you eat better, you are better.
Tansy Rodgers (01:11:45.656)
Thank you so much for being here and for sharing your heart and wisdom. I appreciate you.
Connie Bennett (01:11:51.32)
Thank you so much, Tansy.
Tansy Rodgers (01:11:53.518)
Some episodes don't just teach you new things, they actually help to encourage you to soften the way that you talk to yourself. Because emotional eating, isn't this lack of willpower issue. It's often a pain management strategy. It's the nervous system looking to be comforted. It's grief and stress and loneliness and boredom or maybe even overwhelm trying to find somewhere to go. And food is really the easy
door to walk through for so many people. What I loved about this conversation with Connie is that it brings you back to choice without shaming who you are. It always puts the ball right into your court and reminds you that you can always restart at the next meal, the next hour, the next moment, and that that self-compassion isn't a reward that you earn after you do better. It's something that you can actually
take a hold of right away and implement it. So here's one question I want you to sit with this week.
When you feel the urge to binge or numb out, what are you actually needing? Is it comfort or rest or connection? Maybe it's relief or just a permission to feel. But ask yourself that, what are you trying to numb out? What do you actually need?
You'll find Connie's resources and her hug hum rock relief process linked down in the show notes. So you can try it the next time a craving hits and if you want something practical to reach for, it's right there. And you can get into her world and see what else she has going on. Until next time, keep spreading that beautiful energy you were born to share.
